In the North
by pinkish-red hearts
Summary: It's the last day before finally arriving to the Wall and Cersei indulges herself in men and drink like everyone else in camp. Needing a bit of air, she stumbles upon the beast. As much as she loathes her, Cersei didn't expect that she'd discover something about herself just talking to this poor excuse of a lady. (I FIXED IT I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: OH SHIT SHIT SHIT I DID NOT REALIZE I PUBLISHED IT IN SUCH A MESS. I'M SO SORRY T-T**

 **Anyway... honestly, this is utter crack but unlike most of the few JB canon(ish) crack I came across, this actually isn't a Cersei hating fic. This probably leans more toward the show.**

 _The sound of warning bells tolled in the distance. Jaime forgot his current anger and looked to Brienne in alarm. Their eyes met with understanding. They were both knights, and they needed to help._

 _Jaime turned back to his sister and the loathing crept up his chest again. He barked for Bronn and Pod to tie her up and for good measure, he ordered her gagged, so she wouldn't be able to entice the sellsword._

 _…_

 _When Jaime found out that Tyrion was the Queen's Hand, he couldn't help but convince his little brother that he'll get King's Landing to yield, for as long as the dragons are kept in control._

 _Tyrion asked why he'd miss a chance for battle._

 _Jaime only mentioned about just recently saving King's Landing from burning a second time, he wouldn't allow the third attempt to finally succeed._

 _…_

 _Daenerys Targaryen got the throne. It was easier than she thought._

 _…_

 _Tommen was innocent from the war crimes of the past. He was sent back to Casterly Rock under heavy guard from the Queen's army. However, Jaime and Cersei were unfortunate. Jaime had crimes against killing the Mad King. Cersei had been the Usurper's wife and a Lannister and Baratheon in name. Daenerys would have had Jaime dead and Cersei rot in the dungeons after the trial, if it wasn't for one of Jaime's only witness, the Maid of Tarth, with her interesting account of Ser Jaime's tale and person, and a raven._

 _…_

 _"The North is in need of fighters," read the message. "Anyone able will do- men or women. Winter is coming, as the words of our House. And it is. Creatures only known in old tales have come. We beg of you. It is not a matter of politics, but a matter of survival for this whole realm."_

 _It signed Lady Sansa of Winterfell._

 _…_

 _The dragon queen spared Jaime Lannister to fight in the North. Though cripple, he could still command forces. The former queen reagent, although friendless and didn't have anyone backing her, barely played a role in Targaryen slaughter, so she also had the same fate. In fact, every criminal in the dungeons was sent to the Wall along with enough men from the Dothraki force to keep them in line._

 _Daenerys sent this mismatched army, along with a few men she could trust, so she could have eyes to tell her that the threat is indeed real._

 _…_

 _And that's how Jaime, Brienne and Cersei found themselves traveling North._

 ** _...-ooO0Ooo-….._**

Cersei didn't know how many skins of the foul drink she had. It was their last day of stay in the town before they reach the Wall, and the Northern army recruits decided to indulge a bit. She's probably slept with half the men in the camp, but she doesn't care. She might have glimpsed Jaime staring at her as she locked lips with one but she couldn't read his expression through the haze of whatever she just drunk.

 _Dizzy. Have to get away._

The noise of the festivities was beginning to give her a headache. Cersei wobbled her way to the outskirts of the camp to make her headache subside a bit. The lights were getting dimmer and making it harder for her to see.

Still, she always knew that large hunched figure anywhere.

Cersei staggered on her way to her, stumbling almost every three steps. She nearly tripped over the woman who didn't make any acknowledgement as she clumsily plopped beside her.

"Hello, beastie," Cersei slurred. "I would ask why you're so alone, but I figured you're not the sort to take part in festivities."

Brienne still didn't make a move. Cersei rolled her eyes at how dull the woman is.

"I'm actually trying to make polite conversation here, beastie," Cersei piped up, her voice an octave too high. "Or at least the most polite I'll give you."

Still no response.

"Gods, how was Jaime even able to cope travelling with you?"

At that, Brienne whipped her head at Cersei's direction- her blue glare almost piercing through her soul. Almost. Cersei was too busy smirking.

" _Of course_ it's my brother's name that would get you all hot and bothered,"

"I'm not-,"

"So, you haven't lost your voice at all then, beastie,"

The beast rolled her eyes and looked back to the camp. Bards were singing some bawdy song and most of the camp joined in.

"You must be so jealous Jaime and I lost our maidenhead together," Cersei suddenly blurted out. "Wouldn't you have loved it if you saw him in all his naked glory?"

"I did," Brienne snapped almost immediately. "Not much to see."

Cersei may be drunk but she could see the blush creeping at the woman's cheeks, opposing the beast's words.

"Really?" Cersei sneered. "How have you come to seeing his balls?"

"I'm afraid it isn't an interesting story, your Grace."

Cersei laughed. It sounded eerily similar to their conversation back to a time she didn't want to think about.

"Oh, so I am your Grace now? What happened to 'my lady', or 'Lannister'?" Cersei scoffed. "I suppose _you_ wanna be Lannister. But knowing my brother, he probably scribbles 'Lord Jaime of Tarth' in the soil."

Brienne whipped her head at Cersei again, faster this time, if it could be believed. Her blue eyes were disbelieving. _Of course she would be disbelieving. I doubt even a man as homely as her would want her, but…_

"I've seen the way he looks at you. _Ugh._ Disgusting," Cersei felt a lump at her throat. She thought it was a gag reflex at the way his brother looks dreamily at the beast, but she felt the fire from her stomach up her throat then out her mouth.

 _I definitely had too much._

But she didn't care. She hadn't realized the beast had patted her back until after she sat up. She elbowed the woman's arm away and took a swig from her skin, then turned to Brienne again. "He never looked at me like that. Not even when he claimed to love me," Cersei trailed off, realizing how broken she sounded. "And of course claimed me."

Cersei laughed. It was a bitter laugh.

"And the way _you_ look at him," Cersei continued, and Brienne's glare was back. It did nothing but make her look uglier. Yet somehow her eyes look like beautiful but dangerous shards of blue glass. "Honestly, the way you look at each other look like you're fucking… but with your souls… if that's a thing."

Cersei's headache was subsiding but she found herself enjoying the company of this beast. Watching her squirm is most delightful.

"You are probably wondering why I manipulated Jaime into this whole incest affair."

"Manipulating?"

"Did you wax your ears today, beastie?" Cersei growled. "Yes, I did. I didn't even realize it until Jaime had pointed it out to me in one of our recent talks."

Brienne didn't say anything. Jaime probably told her about all their talks, which mostly consisted of either shouting or cold retorts. All the beast has is that stupid, confused look on her hideous face.

"I thought about it. I really did love Jaime," Cersei's voice was softer now. She didn't know where this came from, but she kept going. "I still do now, even if he barely talks to me. Though I think it's really just that natural love of a sibling."

The beast was gaping like a fish now. Cersei would have laughed but all she wanted was to spew out sorrows. A different kind of sorrow. Sorrows she didn't know she had.

"We're not sure why we thought we could be Targaryens," Cersei continued. "But I know I wanted what men had." Cersei breathed deeply, her muddled brain threatening to shut down and sleep. "They had power, and physical strength. I think-,"

Cersei's eyes widened, as if she saw the first light of spring after a long winter.

"I think I fucked Jaime because I wanted to be a man."

Brienne's ugly face scrunched up.

"He was my twin. We looked like each other save for our sexes. I manipulated him because through him," Cersei threw her arms open, spilling her drink a little. "I could be a man."

Cersei moved the skin to her mouth but she caught the beast watching her.

"But look at you," Cersei spat. "Ugly as fuck, but a highborn lady, the heir of a small House. Honorable beyond compare according to Jaime. Yet you're dressed in man's mail, playing soldier in war. I think I understand why I despise you so."

The beast rolled her eyes at that.

"You have a life I wanted- a man's physical strength, power, even though it's something as unimportant as Tarth. You, my lady…" Cersei said that with venom. "…have broken all the rules of what a woman is expected to be."

Brienne only shrugged at this though.

"Your fighting has considerably improved since we left King's Landing," the beast noted. "You've developed the necessary strength to wield a sword, and you've learned the stances and techniques quite quicker than most."

Of course it did. She _had_ to improve. When she was sent to the Wall to fight creatures no one thought had existed, she had to live. _For Tommen._

Brienne was assigned to train all the female recruits with no fighting experience, and the beast treated them all with respect, even Cersei, who hurled insults at her every opportunity she could get. Cersei will never admit it but Brienne was a good teacher. Even their obvious animosity toward each other didn't hinder her fair treatment of her students.

As the days passed and the weather colder, Cersei found herself spewing less japes as she grew fonder of the sport. There was something that felt right about wielding a sword. She even stayed behind in the later weeks to ask for extra lessons. Brienne had raised her brow but she didn't question it. The former queen felt like she had a new growing addiction. She realized now why Jaime loved the song of steel.

Still, Cersei felt like her lessons weren't enough.

"Not much," Cersei scoffed. "What happens if we face the wights? Or whatever waits beyond that Wall? I'm going to die."

"At least you'll die fighting for the realm," Brienne argued.

"I just want to be with my son."

It was true though. More than anything, even the clanging of blades, she just wanted to hold her only remaining child, Tommen, in her arms. But with Daenerys having the new lord of Casterly Rock watched intently to avoid rebellion, and the general Lannister sin to the Targaryen family, she can't plead her way to her son. _Not yet at least._

They grew quiet again and Cersei gulped down every single drop from the wineskin. She felt light-headed again as she turned to Brienne. The beast was mannish alright. But her lips looked so plump and her eyes were the only thing maid about her.

Suddenly, the words came out of Cersei's lips before she even thought it.

"Have you wondered what it's like to kiss Jaime?"

Maybe it was the wine, or the cold winter.

But whatever it was, she grabbed the beast's thick neck and drew their faces close for a kiss. Cersei had never kissed a woman before. She doubted the beast had been kissed either but there's a first time for everyone. Brienne didn't back away, but she remained motionless. So Cersei slipped her tongue out, hoping to elicit a reaction from her. But this only made the beast purse her lips tighter.

"Yield," Cersei demanded, but Brienne shook her head, so Cersei broke off with a growl.

The former queen stared at nothing, pondering about what she just experienced. Brienne was rough. Even her lips were as chaffed as Jaime's. But her responses were entirely feminine. Something stirred within Cersei that she never felt before. However, she felt like it wasn't this woman who could turn it into a tempest.

"I see why Jaime loves you," Cersei told Brienne. "He loves difficult women. He's masochistic like that."

"He doesn't-,"

"Oh please. He _fucking_ loves you,"

Suddenly, Cersei laughed. It was a genuine laugh this time.

"Look at us. We are quite the duo," Cersei mused loudly. "The Kingslayer's Whores. His own twin sister and a man girl. Funny the women my brother fell in love with."

"What would you know about love, sweet sister?"

The two women whirled at the sound of the voice. They spot Jaime's barely visible figure, standing with drooped shoulders, several feet away from them.

"Have you finally joined your lovers, brother? Do you want to fuck us both at the same time? Because I really don't-,"

"Shut up, Cersei," Jaime snapped but Cersei simply smirked at that.

"Lady Brienne, is my sister bothering you?"

Brienne turned away from him and blushed.

"I was just having a girl conversation with her," Cersei said a little too innocently. "To get her in touch of her feminine side. I figured no one has ever had that talk with her."

" _What_ did you do to her?" her twin spat but it only fueled her amusement.

"Retract those claws, brother. I was simply having a chat with your lady here."

"I _know_ you did something to her. Otherwise she wouldn't look so sullen."

Cersei stood up, mumbling about how the beast is always sullen and dusted the peasant winter garbs she's been wearing.

"Maybe I am wrong- no, not maybe. There's only one person you're in love with your whole life."

Jaime's face was unreadable but the stiffness in his jaw indicated that he was holding back his emotions. It amused Cersei to no end. She walked over to her brother, slowly at first but realizing she wasn't as dizzy as before, she walked faster and faster.

At her approach, Jaime could only scrunch his face and gape his mouth wide open. _How cute. Even they make that same stupid expression._

"Take good care of her, brother," Cersei hummed.

In nearly four decades of living in this world, Cersei did the most sisterly thing she had ever done to Jaime. She ruffled his hair affectionately and gave him a light peck on the cheek. Jaime was still stunned, unsure of what to make of the situation.

Cersei rolled her eyes at his stupidity.

And without warning, she grasped the front of his breeches, where his crotch is, and Jaime yelped the most girlish yelp he ever mustered in his life. Cersei had to hold a laugh as she removed her hand.

"Grow a pair, brother, or I'll steal her from you," she said more firmly. "You know how I like stealing everything from you."

Jaime merely growled as Cersei walked away.

"By the way," Cersei yelled as she was well away. "I may have stolen her first kiss, too. Sorry, brother."

And with a cackle, Cersei left the two alone. Her alcohol-soaked thoughts wondering if she could find that recently widowed brunette who had been eyeing her was around. Cersei wondered how girlish her squeals would be at her touch.

 **Author's Note: So, I wrote a sequel convo with Jaime and Brienne and will write an epilogue. This was supposed to be a long one shot but I think my muse refuses to write that JB conversation until I post this because it's too damn hilarious. XD Not sure if I'll make this a two-part or three-part yet. To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll keep the sequel that I've written or rewrite another one but we'll see. I DO wanna write a sequel. Hahahaha! Mostly because of there are things that aren't clear yet in this one. My muse just really likes this part published already XD**

 **I was inspired to write this fic because (1) I had slight Brienne/Cersei feels XD (2) Because I actually do love Cersei and I feel sorry that this has become of her. I just think of how Cersei used to wear Jaime's armor as a kid as she pretends to be Jaime and ugh it's sho kyut X38 I think she feels like cattle betrothed to this person and that person and I think both her and Jaime just lived in illusions. Jaime was her illusion of her as a man. Cersei was his illusion of true love.**

 **Also, Cersei seems very Johanna Mason from the Hunger Games here XD**

 **I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing this XD And again I apologize if I didn't check oh my gods the horror.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Cersei summoned Jaime in her chambers._

 _It was either business or his cock that she wanted, Jaime knew. Maybe even both._

 _But he was in the mood for neither._

 _Somehow, it felt wrong when Brienne was in the same castle as he is_

 _Though it never bothered him before._

 _He'll go for the former anyway._

 _Tommen still needs him after all._

…

" _There's wildfire in the sept," Cersei told him. "I've conjured up a plan to destroy our enemies."_

 _Jaime's eyes widened._

" _You're not-,"_

" _Yes, I am, sweet brother," Cersei chuckled as she slowly and seductively strode toward Jaime. "In fact, I've had Qyburn about to set up the arrangements just before you came in."_

" _Who else knows about this?" Jaime said through gritted teeth._

" _Just him," she hummed as she massaged Jaime's tense shoulders. "Maybe his little birds, too."_

 _Jaime's seat scraped and he fled off to the dungeons where he knew the non-maester worked._

…

 _Jaime caught up with Qyburn near the dungeons._

" _My lord," Qyburn greeted._

" _Who else knows about the location of the wildfire?" Jaime asked._

" _Why?" Qyburn looked skeptical._

" _Her Grace insisted on secrecy," Jaime deadpanned._

" _Just me, but I'm on my way to tell my little birds-"_

 _As Jaime withdrew the blade from the man's belly, all he could think of is relief that he wouldn't have to kill children. Cersei made him do the worst things-even if this time it was against and not for her. He didn't want to kill the man who had helped him heal his stump but Qyburn was a shady man in the first place. The latest member of the Kingsguard is proof of that._ _HHe_

…

 _It took many of the Lannister forces to bring Ser Robert Strong down, and even then, many perished. But Jaime needed to get rid of the brute because he knew he will get in the way should things turn badly when he'll confront his sister_

…

 _Jaime stormed the throne room with Brienne, Bronn and Podrick behind him. He found his sister seated on the Iron Throne. She was swirling a glass of wine in her hand._

" _Thank the gods. I heard the commotion outside, please tell me-," Cersei stopped when she noticed her brother stomping toward her with a furious expression and a blade._

 _ **...-ooO0Ooo-…..**_

"Jaime…"

Her voice seemed to snap Jaime back to reality. Brienne had been worried about Jaime ever since he and Cersei were sent to the Wall.

"Pardon, my lady. I was lost in thought," Jaime replied.

 _You are always lost in thought ever since Daenerys_ , she wanted to say.

"You need not worry about it, Jaime," Brienne said instead. "Cersei had told me worse things."

Jaime wrinkled his nose.

"You sure? You looked horrified." Jaime gently rested his left hand on Brienne's right one.

Brienne sighed. It really was. Though what Cersei had done made her extremely uncomfortable, but she felt like his twin needed it somehow.

"I don't think you know your sister very well," Brienne suddenly blurted out. She almost made a sound when Jaime retracted his hand from hers. She looked at Jaime and saw that he's keeping his emotions guarded. Regret filled Brienne's chest. "I-I'm sorry, ser," she began stuttering. "I didn't mean- It's not my place."

Jaime gave her a small smile. She didn't understand that smile on him though- which is ironic since she just told him he doesn't know his sister yet she herself doesn't fully understand Jaime either.

"Do enlighten me, wench," Jaime said. "What do you think about our whole situation?"

Jaime claimed that he had forgiven her, but his voice had a hint of anger.

 _It was between her and Jaime. I shouldn't have interfered._

"Well, answer me," he demanded.

Brienne really didn't want to answer him. It was so fragile- whatever it was between them. There's also Cersei with them so it made things worse. Associating yourselves with the Lannisters is like treading on broken glass.

Surprisingly, she heard herself speak.

"You both are stuck in an illusion."

Jaime cocked his brow.

"Cersei tells me. She… fucked…" Brienne couldn't help but momentarily glare at Jaime's snickers as she said the uncomfortable word. "…you because she thought she could be you. You thought that you and her are what love is."

"She, the maiden and I, the warrior," Jaime pointed out.

"But did you ever ask each other what you want?" Brienne continued as if ignoring his comment, but she's noting it. "Did you talk about deep things other than how much you love each other? You are a knight, Ser Jaime. I know your reasons for taking the white was for her. I know because I became Kingsguard for Renly, too. But I also love sword fighting and being a knight. I know you do, too."

She was assuming the latter part but she is sure of the first. That is one thing they have in common. They left their home, their inheritance as head of their Houses to join the Kingsguard. All for love.

How badly it had turned out for them both.

 _But you found someone else to love_ , Brienne's mind whispered. She smote the cursed thought away. Jaime and Cersei may have illusions about each other, but part of them will always ache for each other. Maybe not Cersei. Brienne had an inkling about Cersei.

"And Cersei. I pity her," Brienne said.

"Why?" Jaime asked with a genuine confusion.

"In case you haven't noticed, we, women, don't exactly have a high opinion in society," Brienne explained. "We're treated as cattle to be sold to the highest bidder and to bring forth heirs. That seems to be our only function."

"You left," Jaime weakly pointed out.

"Yes, but it is a constant cloud looming above me that if my father dies and haven't married anyone else, I will have to step up as Lady of Tarth. I will have to take a husband and bring forth heirs to continue the family legacy."

Brienne shuddered at the thought. It was the first time she had voiced this worry.

"But I love wearing armor and clutching a blade in my hand. I love swinging it and beating men to the dust."

 _I love fighting beside you_ , her mind whispered and she grimaced physically at her own thought.

"That's my girl," Jaime chuckled, and for a moment she scrunched her face in confusion at his words before continuing.

"I think Cersei feels as if the only way she can attain power is what is between her legs." Bronn had told Jaime about Cersei fucking other men to get what she wants. She felt Jaime's hand curl at her arm for a moment before mumbling about Cersei about to do worse if they hadn't stopped her. "She has no physical advantage like me. She had to give up her dignity to get people to have her do what she wants."

"So you think what she did was right?" Jaime's voice was so dangerously low that it almost scared Brienne, but she had to make him understand.

"I'm not saying that her methods were right. She had done terrible wrongs, just as you have, too." She could see Jaime flinch, so she had to add, "I do not mean that you won't change. I just think that what she's done is an outlet of her frustration. Your sister is being dismissed easily because she is a woman. I don't think she enjoyed… sleeping with other men."

"What are you getting at?" Jaime was confused now, but Brienne had never been good with words.

"I-I think your sister might be like a different Renly. Cersei likes to be a man," Brienne finally said. "And perhaps likes w-women."

Jaime was silent. He looked like he was processing her words.

"My sweet sister wanted to be me. Just like Tyrion," Jaime muttered absentmindedly then his eyes widened as if he was realizing something. "You mean to tell me it wasn't a jest when my sister said she kissed you?"

Of all things Jaime had to understand from that conversation, it had to be that. Brienne folded her legs up and buried her face in it.

"She looked sad, okay?" Brienne groaned into her thighs.

"Cersei kissed you? No wonder you looked horrified when I saw you," Jaime said laughing.

Brienne finally showed her face, only to glare at Jaime.

"I didn't kiss her back," she protested. "She looked so sad and I thought that if I let her do it, she'd figure herself out. I know Renly's discrimination and how it affected him and Ser Loras. Cersei, as mad as she might be, she needs someone who won't judge her and encourage her to finding herself- her good self. I just thought-,"

Suddenly, Jaime craned his neck and smashes his lips against hers.

 _Jaime, what are you doing to me?_

Just as she had with Cersei, Brienne didn't react to Jaime's kiss, but her mind was whispering traitorous thoughts. _Open your mouth, Brienne. Tangle your tongue with his. Bite his lip as you have seen others do._ But she wouldn't. Jaime could never possibly-

Brienne broke away quickly.

"Don't play with me, ser," she warned, not looking at his face. "Your sister is cruel but you are my friend. You'd never be so cruel as to play with my feelings."

"Am I only your friend, Brienne?" Jaime asked. His voice cracked at the sudden gentleness of his tone.

"You are my dearest friend, Ser Jaime," Brienne said. Every word seemed to cause her chest to tighten. "And I do not wish that our friendship will be broken because of a stupid jape."

"I'm not japing, Brienne," Jaime mumbled. "I'm sorry if I seem so abrupt about my feelings."

Brienne couldn't process what he means. Almost everything in her screamed that this wasn't real, yet that tiny voice in her mind whispered, _he loves you_. But she couldn't find herself saying it to him. Her heart was guarded and she was certain Jaime was misguided with his concern for her and only saw her as a friend.

"Gods, wench, do you really want me to say it?" Jaime growled as he got up and knelt on one knee. He pulled her right hand with his left and let it rest on his golden hand, then let his remaining hand rest on top and looked up at her with such strong emotion.

"I love you, Brienne," he said. "You are the moon and stars of my dark sky. The light that guides my way-"

"Jaime, I-,"

"Do you want me to scream louder, Brienne?"

"Jaime, no," she protested as he moved to stand up. She gripped his leg as he cupped his hand around his mouth. "Will you sit down?" she hissed.

"Not until you answer one question," Jaime growled in demand. His emerald eyes fiercely bore into her sapphire ones. "Do you love me?"

Her mind was screaming. It was hard to ignore now.

But she could only mumble affirmation.

"What did you say, Brienne?" Jaime asked softly.

"I- I love you, okay?" she almost screamed. "But you'll never love me. You love your sister- no matter if it's a strange illusion of love, it is still a deeply rooted love. You did for your whole life and not even I or even her can change that. You may be mad at her now but when she's a better person, you would worship her again."

"And here I thought we know each other too well," Jaime said with a soft tone she didn't understand. Brienne only turned away- embarrassed at her sudden confession. She could feel Jaime sit down beside her- closer this time. He gently grabbed her chin so their eyes would meet.

"You, my lady, are living an illusion as well," Jaime told her bluntly. "You believe no one will ever love you because of your outward appearance. But I do. I do terribly love you and it hurts. I hated having Cersei with us because I knew she would only get in the way. She is selfish and scheming and will tear apart everything to keep you away from me. I was also mad that you were the reason why she was brought along. _Complications_."

"Did I intervene too much in the throne room?" Brienne had to ask.

 _ **...-ooO0Ooo-…..**_

" _Jaime, no," Brienne begged._

" _Have you lost your manhood coming here as well, brother?" Cersei sneered. "You can't even kill a bloody woman. Maybe it's your beast here that made you fear all women."_

 _Jaime growled. Rage overcame and he didn't hear anything. Just Cersei's mocking laughter. His sword poised to thrust through his sister's body._

 _Then, he felt a hand around his arm._

" _I won't let you do this."_

 _He turned his head around and saw shining sapphire eyes._

" _Brienne, let go," Jaime commanded. "She has committed treason against the crown."_

 _She was almost at loss with words when Jaime roughly pulled away._

 _Then, the warning bells tolled in the distance._

 _ **...-ooO0Ooo-…..**_

"Why did you stop me?" Jaime only asked.

"I just- I didn't think you would live with yourself if you did it. She is your… sister after all," Brienne only answered.

"Cersei was going to destroy everyone with wildfire. I did the same thing to Aerys, I would've done the same to her," Jaime seethed.

"Regardless, you barely handled being Kingslayer. What if you were Kinslayer?" Brienne murmured.

Jaime sighed. "I won't regret saving the people, but I wouldn't want to burden Tommen. He might not be able to handle losing his mother. Tommen is a sweet child. Too pure for the likes of this world."

Brienne tried to decipher his expression. His features looked worn and the lines on his face looked deep in the little light they have.

"You are too good for this world, too, my lady." Jaime suddenly said. "You are willing to see the good in others. Yet you are wary as well,"

 _Wary? What was he talking about? Weren't they talking about his sister and Tommen?_

"And understandably so," he continued "And regardless of our feelings for each other, I can see that I have to work hard to gain your trust."

"I trust you," Brienne stubbornly huffed.

"As a soldier and a friend, but not… _this_ ," Jaime continued. "I'm no good with this. I've never been, but I know I feel it."

"Jaime, you don't have to-"

She tried to reason that it was just grief but he cut her off.

"Promise me one thing though, my lady."

Brienne didn't answer.

"Live."

"What?" She heard him and knew the word but she didn't understand why he demanded such a thing from her.

"Live," he said again. "Whatever will come, even if they put us in different units, come back to me alive as soon as it's all over."

She could feel her chin wobble at how touched she was.

"Then we'll truly sort ourselves out after this," Jaime said.

"You'll live, too, right?" Brienne found herself asking.

"Of course, wench," Jaime winked. "How can I woo you from beyond the grave?"

"You're probably going to haunt me, the stubborn annoying man you are," Brienne huffed and Jaime chuckled at this. She liked hearing him chuckle at her japes.

"True but I'd rather be with you… in warm flesh."

Brienne looked at him and she saw him wink. She blushed when she understood the implication.

"But as I said, I will have to earn my way to prove that I'm serious about… us," he said seriously.

"Okay then, I promise," she said.

"I promise, too," Jaime just added.

They were silent for a little while, both processing what in seven hells just happened to their conversation, until Jaime cleared his throat.

"Where's Oathkeeper?" he suddenly asked and she thought that he finally wanted his sword back and scrambled to unbuckle it.

"My, my wench, I thought we were taking this slowly," Jaime japed.

"What? No!" Brienne exclaimed, as her hands stilled. She felt her face heat up. "Don't you want the sword back?"

"When I told you it's yours and will always be yours, I didn't mean the sword, you know," Jaime whispered.

Her eyes demanded answers.

"I was talking about myself, Brienne," he said. "Oathkeeper is my honor, my heart, and my soul. I'm yours and will always be yours. Though admittedly, I was too stupid to understand what I was saying back then."

Brienne graced him with a small smile.

"Although…"Jaime chimed. "A sword is often used as a symbol for a cock."

"Jaime…"

But he ignored her. "And yours just happens to be sheathed."

"I swear by the Seven, Jaime," she hissed through gritted teeth. "I'll stab myself with this sword."

But this only seemed to add more fuel. "Were you talking about Oathkeeper through my guts or my co- ow!"

She wacked him across the chest, and Jaime had to wheeze his laughter.

"Alright, alright, I'm done," he surrendered, holding up his hands- both real and golden.

"You're impossible," she huffed.

"But you love me anyway."

By the old gods and new, she did so badly.

"I suppose," she sighed in affirmation.

 **Author's Note: After 84 years I finally finished this. XD This became harder to write after some realization (more like I've been reading too much JB forum) that Cersei is an irredeemable psycho but ssshhh this is fanfic and I already said she's ooc XD Also, I like the idea of Brienne bringing out the good in others.**

 **Epilogue will be a little later as well because school and my muse tends to withdraw because school. Also because I have so many fanfic commitments.**

 **I hope you liked reading this mess lol.**


	3. Epilogue

**Warning: More OOC is coming? XD I tried :P**

 _Daenerys had hoped that the Kingslayer would die in the War in the North._

 _But here he is again, befouling her castle._

…

 _The guards claimed that the queen looked like she was in a daze as she gave an order to hold court._

…

 _Jaime was absolved of his crimes, but stripped of his titles._

…

" _I'm- I'm not sure who I am now," Jaime confided. Brienne had entered his chambers. She looked ready to say goodbye. Jaime was tired of saying goodbye, but the thought of shackling her to him just because he would miss her greatly filled him with guilt._

" _Knighthood is all I've ever known my whole life." Jaime wanted to add Cersei but he knew that part of his life was over for a long time and has no wish to go back to it._

" _Then let us be knights," Brienne stated._

" _Us?" Jaime said, perplexed. "But you said-,"_

 _It was an elephant in the room for Brienne. She is the only heir to Tarth and she's still an unmarried maid. Somehow, it was felt again when they received a raven from her father, about how she's faring. Brienne had told Jaime before the trial that she might go to Tarth after Jaime is being sorted out in King's Landing. She had said 'sorting' so carefully. As if she thought he was going to die._

 _But he didn't._

" _I might find a suitable highborn match during our travels," she shrugged her broad shoulders then offered an awkward crooked smile at him. "Besides, someone needs to keep an eye on you."_

 _Jaime's heart twisted at 'highborn match'. He was no longer highborn. He had just been stripped from his Lannister name after all. But the fact that Brienne wanted to be with him was touching._

…

 _Podrick joined them in their quest. He had been newly knighted and offered a position in the city watch by Tyrion, but Podrick had grown rather fond of Brienne and Jaime. Just as the two had grown fond of him, too._

…

 _For four years, Jaime, Brienne and Podrick had been traveling around Westeros. They bore no banner or sigil. They didn't even give their names. Their faces had been worn by battles and scars, so they aren't recognizable. Jaime, especially. He hid his stump in a gloved wooden replacement._

 _They just come into towns and recognize trouble, especially with criminals running amok because the new queen hasn't sorted things out yet, especially further south._

 _The people whisper of the new 'Brotherhood Without Banners', but Jaime just snorted at that._

 _They weren't outlaws._

 _Just knights who wanted to do some good with what's left with the world._

…

 _When they weren't knights, however, they were friends laughing around the fire._

 _Sometimes, Jaime even mused that they were family._

 _Brienne hunted. Podrick started the fire. Jaime cooked. At least the best he could._

 _As strange as their little trio might be, there was something domestic about it._

 _Jaime thought that he'd never feel it again, but seeing Brienne and Podrick made him realize he wanted something new in life._

 _ **...-ooO0Ooo-…..**_

"Lady Brienne, Ser Podrick," Tommen greeted the newly arrived visitors. "Ser… Jaime."

Jaime chuckled at the boy's hesitance.

"I understand the confusion of titles, Lord Tommen," Jaime told the new lord of Casterly Rock as he gets down from his horse. "I think Uncle would suffice. Only Lady Brienne can call me Jaime alone." He said that with a wink.

"Guards," Tommen commanded as he looked behind Jaime. "Please assist Lady Brienne off her horse."

Jaime could hear Brienne softly protesting that she was fine, but Jaime knew how tired she was.

"I'm sorry to visit on such short notice but you do understand why we are in dire need of comfort."

Tommen looked over to the lady being helped down by the guards. He could see the large swell on her belly.

"No need to apologize, uncle. You're always welcome at Casterly Rock," Tommen assured. "You are still family even if Her Grace has stripped her off your name."

Jaime sighed in relief. Of course sweet Tommen would welcome him. As naïve the boy is, he is a better man than Tywin is. He has grown wiser and grown cautious yet his heart remained pure. _Just like Brienne._ He would make a great lord, loved by his people.

"She's nearing her nine moons of pregnancy, am I correct?" Tommen said, snapping Jaime out of his thoughts.

"Yes."

"Congratulations to you and Lady Brienne both," Tommen said and Jaime's lips stretched in genuine happiness. He loved this boy before him who had grown into a great man, but Tommen was never truly his. For the first time, he can finally call a child of his seed truly her own. He could hold him in his arms and raise him or her however they want.

"Brother."

Jaime's blood ran cold at the sound of the voice.

"Sister," Jaime greeted the newcomer with gritted teeth.

Cersei sauntered over to them with a woman in her arm.

"Lady Brienne," Cersei greeted sweetly. Jaime wasn't sure if that was seeped with poison. "Motherhood definitely hasn't made you look any better." _Ah there it is._

Brienne finally stood beside Jaime, her hands protectively caressing her swollen belly. Jaime felt nervous that Brienne might have her self-esteem shot down. It wouldn't be good for the babe.

But of course, she continued to surprise him.

"I doubt anything will, my lady," Brienne retorted, but not with malice.

Cersei snorted at that. "You've certainly inherited my brother's tongue, but I suppose it's what happens when you have it inside you often, hm?"

Jaime stared at Brienne's face and saw her blush but she found herself stammering a reply anyway. "Well, you should know."

His sister laughed at that and finally gestured to her female companion. "Oh, Taena, this is my good sister, Brienne. Not a beauty but she aided me greatly in getting my head out of my arse. Me and my twin both."

Brienne bowed slightly at the lady.

"Still bowing I see," Cersei commented. "But good to see you've finally found wits to speak."

Suddenly, Tommen cleared his throat.

"Why don't we all head inside for proper introductions? For the babe's sake."

And everyone agreed.

"I prepared three chambers for each of you," Tommen said. "If-,"

"Oh nephew, I've gotten her with child," Jaime cut off, rolling his eyes. "I'm sleeping with her." Then, he turned to the squire who hadn't uttered a proper word since their arrival. "Podrick. Go ahead and drop Lady Brienne's things by our chambers. I'll accompany her and walk her pace."

"Jaime, don't treat me like an invalid," Brienne hissed.

"You're not, but you have a baby. You're both very vulnerable, wife."

Jaime wondered for a second why everyone stopped in their tracks.

After what felt like an eternal silence, Cersei sneered, "So, did you stick your cock in her before or after you wed?"

"After, my sweet sister," Jaime spat. "I'm more honorable than you ever knew."

Cersei rolled her eyes at that and muttered something at her female companion that made her laugh.

"When did this happen, uncle?" Tommen asked with a child-like curiosity.

"I will share later while we convene for dinner," Jaime said. "We should have more pleasant dinners in Casterly Rock, don't you think, sister?"

For once, Cersei looked somber as she hummed in agreement.

After they had all settled in, dinner came around and they were all in the hall.

 _ **...-ooO0Ooo-…..**_

 _When Podrick was absent or asleep, Jaime found himself giving Brienne odd little treasures or spouting out compliments or pieces of poetry either he made up or heard from others. After that night he had kissed her, they hadn't had much time to talk about themselves with the war and all. At most, they hugged once, but it's always the heartbreak etched in their faces that only indicated that night of confession._

 _But now that they could finally talk about themselves, Jaime had found that he didn't know what to say. Ever since Jaime didn't bear the Lannister name anymore, it's like she shut herself out again. Probably to protect herself from heartbreak once she weds for alliances._

 _Yet he still tries to show her he loves her._

 _At her own pace, too._

 _No kissing. Not even intimate touches._

 _And it was agonizing for Jaime._

…

 _But for four years, Brienne never found a betrothed._

 _They kept away from them most of the time._

 _Jaime decided to take his chances and kiss her._

 _This time, she finally responded._

…

 _A moon later, Brienne received a grave injury. It was just their luck that a man happened to be going to a nearby refuge._

 _The Quiet Isle, it was named._

 _Jaime thought he was going to die if she was gone._

 _The Elder Brother didn't allow men and women to stay together unless they were married, but Podrick helped convinced the brother that Jaime had to stay with Brienne._

 _When her injury finally subsided, Jaime's allowance to stay with Brienne was cut short._

 _He didn't want to leave her. Lose her._

" _Marry me," Jaime blurted out._

" _Jaime- I can't. Tarth needs allies and-,"_

" _Your father had only asked for your wellbeing back in King's Landing," Jaime was really pulling all this in the spot. "He never said he was offering a betrothal. I think your father has given up on that. But we can still secure the Tarth lineage."_

 _Brienne's blue eyes shone with doubt._

" _I want you. I need you. I love you. Please," he begged. "I- I want a family, Brienne. Podrick has been like a son to me now. To us. I want that life. I see it now."_

 _Brienne swallowed and Jaime braced himself for refusal._

" _I'm yours," she croaked. "I will always be yours."_

 _ **...-ooO0Ooo-…..**_

"I'm surprised you were able to keep it in your breeches for four years, brother," Cersei snorted and it earned a glare from Jaime.

"Me, too," Brienne mumbled yet Cersei heard it and perked her ears. She looked toward her brother who was unreadable and then to the boy, Podrick, who was red in the face.

"Let me guess, boy," Cersei said to Podrick. "They've been at it like rabbits ever since they wed."

Brienne groaned and Cersei laughed.

"I doubt neither of you can outmatch the stamina Taena and I possess, though," Cersei said, winking at the woman beside her. She looked younger than Cersei by almost a decade. She was a curvy lady with dark skin, dark eyes and dark curly hair. She was a sultry and attractive woman definitely. _What a perfect match for my sister,_ Jaime thought. As mistrustful as he still is with his sister, Jaime was glad that she found happiness. Years with only both of them in Casterly Rock had been lonely.

"I don't wanna hear-,"

Jaime got cut off when he heard a strained groan beside him. Brienne was clutching her stomach and her face twisted in agony.

"Is the baby coming?" Jaime looked at his sister for help for the first time in years.

"You," Cersei barked at a guard. "Get the maester."

She turned to Jaime.

"Seven hells, Jaime. Get your wife in your chambers," she hissed.

And everything that happened became a blur.

Next thing they knew, the maester was telling Brienne to push as she's holding Jaime and Cersei on either side.

"I'm never… letting you… touch me… ever again," Brienne breathes through gritted teeth. Jaime only rolled his eyes at that. Cersei, however, seemed amused despite being painfully held in the arm by Brienne.

"Oh please, beastie," Cersei chuckled. "You are holding his stump in comfort. You will most definitely be seeking his bed in a few days."

Brienne screamed.

Finally, it was over.

"A boy, m'lady," the maester said as he handed the baby to Brienne. With surprising patience, Cersei guided Brienne on how to carry the child. The two ladies cooed at the baby. Taena, Podrick and Tommen came in and surrounded the baby.

"Jaime," Brienne's voice floated above everyone else's and all became quiet. "Aren't you going to say hello to your son?"

Her blue eyes looked worried. Jaime didn't know how he found himself in the far corner of the room when he is the father and had come to accept it.

"Don't be theatrical, brother. I know I've kept you away from all your children, but do you really intend play uncle with this one, too," Cersei snorted and that earned a glare from Jaime.

"Old habits," he spat at his twin as he approached the baby and his wife.

The baby had soft golden locks like he did but his eyes were as blue as his wife's. The rest of his features were too early to tell who got what from who but the fact that this child already indicated that he was theirs- both his and Brienne's- gave him a warm bloom in his chest. He reached out tentatively, expecting the baby to be pulled away, but Brienne carefully hands him the baby.

Jaime couldn't help but give out a shaky breath.

He was now a father.

For real.

A tear slid down from his eye.

"So, he's my brother-cousin?" Tommen asked innocently but the twins froze.

"Cousin," Cersei replied awkwardly.

Something clutched at Jaime's chest and he looked at his and Cersei's remaining child.

"Tommen…" Jaime began but Tommen interrupted him.

"It's alright, uncle. I have forgiven you for a long time. I can't find myself to hate you or mother. I'm glad you can finally call a child your own."

Jaime couldn't believe his ears. Tommen was indeed the sweetest boy.

Three moons passed swiftly and Brienne and Jaime were packed to leave. Jaime waited for his wife outside with the party.

"Must you leave, uncle," Tommen whined. Jaime chuckled knowing that Tommen had grown fond of the baby.

"Isn't Lady Margaery going to return soon?" Jaime told him with a smirk. "Casterly Rock needs heirs after all."

Tommen blushed. "In a fortnight, yes. She says she wants to see the baby."

"I suppose you'll have to visit us in Tarth some time," Jaime can only say. "Lady Brienne is far away from home already and she needs to step up to her duties. As her husband, I need to help and guide her as to how to run her House."

"Tommen," Cersei told her son. "Leave Lord Jaime of Tarth be. I'm sure you'll plant a child on that rose bitch soon enough."

"Mother, she is my wife."

Cersei rolled her eyes and sipped on her drink.

"By the gods, Cersei, don't kill Margaery," Jaime chided, meaning it to be a jape but somehow it ended up as a stern warning.

"I won't. I won't," Cersei waved him away. "I've had my fair share of killing up North, brother. I'm tired."

Jaime glared at her in doubt. Cersei only sighed.

"Take care, brother," Cersei said more seriously.

"Same to you, sister," Jaime replied awkwardly.

Brienne came out holding little Gallion- the name Jaime and Brienne had agreed for the baby boy before they reached Casterly Rock- in her arms and Podrick trailing behind them.

"Jaime," Cersei said hesitatingly. Her tone was softer than anything Jaime imagined coming from her mouth that it caused Jaime to remain where he was instead of helping Podrick with the supplies.

"I'm sorry… for everything."

Jaime wanted to laugh because Cersei never apologized to anyone unless Tywin forced her to, but she never meant it. Even now, Cersei still looked proud and defiant as she apologized. His sister was never the humble one, but he nodded anyway.

"I'm sorry, too. I'm just as much of a shitty brother," he shrugged.

"Jaime, language," Brienne chided from behind him. He chuckled at that.

"I wish you happiness, sister," Jaime said. "But don't do anything foolish either."

"Take care of your little and big beastie," Cersei said in her usual sneering tone.

"Ser, we should head off soon," one of the Lannister escorts said.

They all said their final goodbyes and departed.

At nightfall, Taena slipped under the covers kissing a slumbering Cersei. When the younger woman caressed the older one's side, Cersei stirred awake.

"Taena," Cersei murmured.

"Your Grace," Taena whispered back.

"I'm no longer queen," Cersei stated sleepily.

"But you are," Taena hummed. "You're _my_ queen in this chamber- our little kingdom." Then, she slipped her hand further down, causing Cersei to gasp. Taena leaned close to her ear and whispered huskily, "And I'm your _hand_." Cersei gulped at that.

For a while, Taena were doing _things_ with her hand, then she suddenly stopped.

"Do you miss him?" Taena asked, suddenly withdrawing her hand from Cersei's skin.

"My brother?" Cersei asked. She could see Taena bite her lower lip. Taena usually reeked of lust but somehow their age difference showed at that moment. _Is she jealous?_ Cersei was amused at the thought, then, she remembered how Taena seemed distant ever since Jaime and Brienne came to Casterly Rock. Cersei had thought she was giving them space as a family. "Is that why you have been avoiding me?"

Taena looked away. _She looks so sexy when she's jealous._

Cersei roughly pulled her close so their lips met. She ground her hips at her lover as they kissed with such a burning passion. Cersei pulled away when she needed air.

"I love my brother," Cersei began, ignoring the flicker of sadness in her lover's eyes as she said it. "But we were fools to believe that we loved each other in that way. We were lonely children with a strict father. But I assure you, we're not like that anymore. We never were meant to be like that."

"What about m'lady?" Taena asked almost too nonchalantly.

Cersei laughed. "Lady Brienne? Oh my sweetling. Not my type. I prefer you."

And with that, Taena assaulted Cersei's lips with hers in full force.

 **Author's Note: I told you it's super ooc. XD But I had fun writing this. School (and life in general) has been hectic on me and I needed to unwind from all that. :P**

 **Of course Taena had to make an appearance. Who else was gonna be Cersei's lesbian lover? Cersei and her lesbian issues started this, it's fitting that Cersei and her lesbian lover end this lol**

 **I wish to find more CerseiXTaena and CerseiXBrienne fics in the future because they're amuthing lol. (Also QyburnXCersei fics bc blame my friend XD)**

 **I was actually not going to make Cersei apologize but well, JC needed closure and Cersei needed 'character development'. Though I'm sorry I hadn't included Tyrion in the said character development. I'm lazy XD**

 **Also GALLION= Galladon + Tyrion :3**

 **Ples lev a review. :3 Reviews are my little Gallions 3 3**


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